Not so long ago, a new Product Manager told me that she also is a programmer... a software engineer. She implied that if she wanted she could be part of the development team. She had just started and I had no reason not to believe her and accepted it as an interesting side note and went on. As time has gone by it has become increasingly apparent that this individual was never a software engineer in the way that my peers are. The comparison is almost offensive in the stark difference and extreme lack of understanding of what a software engineer does.
To anyone reading this:
Please do not say that you are part of someone else's group unless you truly know about that person's group. I've brewed beer and cider a handful of times. I've even had the lucky experience of brewing some stuff that is better than some store bought stuff. But I would never call myself a brewer in the presence of someone like Sam Calagione or Jamil Zainasheff. I've never brewed commercially and have no concept of the constraints involved, and I don't have near the same range of experiences. Notice the difference in tone the following two statements have:
- I'm a brewer like you.
- I've brewed at home.
If they both seem innocuous then here are some example responses, respectively:
- Oh yeah, what bars are serving your beer?
- Since I have never brewed commercially, I do not grok the need for high efficiency sparging, dealing with distribution laws, etc.
- That's cool. What is your favorite style.
- I love Bock beer. And Belgium style. And Kolsch. And Scotch ale. And, oh man, Southern Tier's Creme Brulee stout is just epic. But I mostly make cider because I'm decent at it.
Of course, those responses could go any number of ways but the point is that you can share that you have some shared experience without implying your of the same level. Especially, when you have no idea. Heck, you might be better but you just met so you have no idea.
In short, just be genuine. If you were hired to do a job, focus on that. Don't worry about trying to "fit in" with people in other roles.